Thursday, May 15, 2014

Non Ho Capisco (non – hoe – cap-E-ss-co) – I don’t understand

            ….how in the world is 4 months over….wasnt it just the other day I was saying goodbye to my boyfriend and friends in Boise to go home for Christmas….wasnt it last week that mom was telling me what I needed to pack to go to Italy and I sat back thinking there was no way I was only taking two shirts….wasnt it the other day that I was literally shaking and bawling my eyes out in Spokane Airport afraid of every experience that was a head…wasn’t it yesterday I was meeting Ely for the first time, neither of us speaking much of the other’s language and she was taking me to go pick up Giacomo from school….
            …how is it even kind of possible that it is time to go home? When I look back at all that I have done, seen, and learned….it makes sense….4 new countries 23 towns and cities and literally 1000s of pictures….this has absolutely been the best adventure of my life, but it just doesn’t seem like it is time for it to be over…..i know that it just means that something more is coming…that its time for the next adventure to start…..but it just is so surreal…           
            ….today I packed up my room….all the pictures, gifts, clothes and other things that I had bought along the way….i cleaned….and then went over to say goodbye to my friends….it just didn’t seem real at all…..like im not going to wake up tomorrow morning and see them when we go to school together….i did however make it through the goodbyes with my friends without crying so I counted that as a little vicotyr…
            …this morning I went to Eataly and to the panino shop for lunch….literally started crying on my walk to Eataly just because I was thinking about how much im going to miss this place and this life….and then when I went to the panini shop and told them I was leaving, the panini lady started getting teary saying goodbye….then I had to come home and say goodbye my nonnas Louisa and Paula….and well the flood gates opened…
            ….if you had told me when I graduated high school that I would have been studying abroad in Torino Italy and have this amazing family, and life that I adore….I would have called you crazy and wishful….but its truly I actually have it here…saying goodbye to those two amazing women was so terribly hard…..Louisa gave me a sweater that she literally knit for me…its so wonderful and so loving of her J….I said goodbye and completely lost it….today has been quite the day of tears…and I can only imagine what tomorrow is going to be…..
            …I really really really do not want to say goodbye to my mom tomorrow…this is going to be so incredibly hard….one of my friends today posted a picture of their dinner tonight with the caption “youre gonna miss this, youre gonna want this back, youre gonna wish these days hadn’t gone by so fast…” and I started listening to that song….and holy cow its so true….i don’t understand how my time here just flew by so fast…and I will miss all of this, all of the routine that I have gotten into, all of the ins and outs of the Italian life….im really truly excited to go home tomorrow and see my parents and all but i just don’t understand how this can be over…..

            ….tomorrow morning, Ely will take me to the airport for me and I will fly to Munich, then Chicago for the night, then Salt Lake and home…..40 hours of traveling….a full adventure just to get home…so many emotions im feeling right now….this has truly been an amazing adventure and I wouldn’t trade a second of it for anything….this is one of the best decisions ive ever made…..i have learned so much in these past four months…ive seen amazing things….i have fallen even more in love with traveling, Europe and Torino….i will definently return to Torino as much as I can in my life, and I will have to come back to see my family….I don’t understand how it can be over, but there is one thing I do understand…studying abroad has been an amazing blessing that has truly changed me for good…. 

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