…well,
I have now been back in the united states for a week, home with my parents,
back in little ol’ st. maries….and as great as it feels to be back home where I
understand everything, can talk with anyone, everyone knows me, there are dryers
and fast food and big coffees…..but I am aching for Torino…..it will forever be
my second home, there is no way now for it not to be…I wake up every morning
and before I open my eyes, I listen for Ely getting Giacomo up for school..but
instead I hear the cars (not honking their horns) at the gas station across the
street and my mom leaving for work….my whole world has shifted….
….as
much as everything was different when I first got to Italy 4 months ago and I
thought I would never understand it or get used to it all….its the same coming
back….the other day I went out to dinner with a friend, and the check was
brought to our table, split for each of us and we had to tip…..it was like
getting into Chicago and understanding everything around me and getting the
anxious tightening in my chest because of the difference…..im still in that
great time period of first being home that’s filled with giving people the
gifts I brought them home, telling stories, and seeing everyone that I missed….but
at the same time I can feel the reverse culture shock that they preached so
much to us, in little things every single day…..
…I
miss my family most of all…our little apartment that turned into being so cozy
for me….I miss them so so much….everyday it seems that there is something that
happens and I spend the next hour or so thinking in my head of how to say it to
Ely when I get home and then something happens like an American siren, or I
eavesdrop on an English conversation and I realize that I wont be able to tell
her but rather I will have to write it all to her on facebook at night….I miss
rough housing with G on the couch at night or watching Frozen on my computer….seeing
Simone when he comes home late at night…..soooo. many. Things. There are to
miss…..I am so grateful for that amazing family….I think the family that fell
out 2 days before I left for Italy was supposed to so that I could be put with
the Olivatis….they needed me and I needed them….for them, I think I was a prep
for the daughter they have coming in September….I think I was a companion for
Ely when she needed it….I think I was a bit of a key for opening Ely a bit
after Pietro…opening a bit for the little girl that is coming……for me they were
my comfort…they were my safety, they kept me going…..they are what made me so
so comfortable and ok with living there….I owe them more than I could ever
repay……I became great friends with ely and I truly love them all so so much….i
miss them every hour of of every day…..seriously waiting for a date they will
be moving to Chicago so I can start my countdown chain….
….as
much as it is exciting and happy but still sucks to be home, I know it was time….it
was time to come home….i was truly tired of missing people....i mean I am
thankful that I have people to miss terribly, but after a while it can just become
tiring…..it was also time to move onto the next adventure….torino taught me so
many lessons, exciting and irritating….i had amazing adventures, saw incredible
things, went to wonderful places, crossed things off my bucket list, and grew a
little bit every single day…..this will be something that I talk about for
years to come, I will think about it everyday and use lessons learned in my
everyday life….but it was time to leave….i don’t know what made me think it,
but there was one day about a week and a half before I left that something just
clicked in my head and I thought, “I have accomplished what I was meant to,
made the relationships I needed to, learned the lessons I was supposed to, and
had the experiences…now its time to go home and find the next adventure…” and I
messaged that on facebook to my mom….and from then on, as much as it hurt to
leave, I was content with what I had accomplished in Torino, the woman that I
had become….i still cried just as much of course…..but now I have returned to
the US to find my next lesson, next experience, next adventure….
….everyday
that passes, I miss Torino and want to be back even more than the day before….just
as everyday the newness of being home and seeing people for the first time rubs
off…..thankfully I will take off for boise soon and I will get to do this
again, go through giving away the rest of the gifts, and seeing people that I have
missed so terribly…..but then it will wear off and I think the new adventure
will take shape….living my first summer away from home, in my first apartment
(with my sister), finding a job, buying my first car…..it will be an amazing
time and I am so excited for it….but no matter what these next months and the
rest of my future holds, I know that these past 4 and a half months have truly
changed me in ways I never saw but can look back on….
….although I know there will be amazing days still to come
in my life, these past weeks and months spent abroad were the best so far….thank
you for coming along with me on this journey of blogging….truly I am so excited
that I kept up with it and cant wait to send this in to be turned into a book
to have as a journal of my trip entirely….thank you to those of you who
faithfully read every post and lived my adventures with me…praying and sending
good thoughts my way, your support carried me through the tough times when I was
missing home…and those that read the occasional post they saw pop up on their
facebook news feed, the fact that you took the time to just look through and
see what I did that day….it all meant more than you thought….this blog started
out as solely for me to record my travels, but turned into more, a lifeline for
my parents to feel connected to every adventure, a way to tell everyone what I was
always doing and so much more…..thank you for coming with me on the best 4
months of my life…..that was the best game……I love you torino, I always will…..
